Hi friends, I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve been sending out updates manually to many of you, and I realized it would be wonderful to huddle my dearest friends here. This way, we can hopefully stay more closely connected, even from afar. Even though time passes and our locations have changed so much over the years, I hold you very cozily in my heart.
I hope this opportunity brings us closer, offers comfort, and supports us as we grow together- through all the seasons of life. Please use the comment spaces at the end of each blog for anything that spirit moves you to share, I will surely respond, and we can utilize this as another sweet form of communication. I love hearing from you!
In this blog, I write from the heart about motherhood, healing, soulful living, and the beauty (and challenges) of everyday life. If you’d like to explore more, please get cozy in this website, just the way it’s always been when we got together in person in our festive gatherings. There is lots to explore here- healing gifts and sharings from the heart. Below are some of my favorite posts on:
- Leo and the Power of 8: my most recent post and perfectly timed for August’s cosmology and numerology.
- From the Mat to the Mic: news about our Spotify podcast creations and YouTube video-making journey, where you can see see and hear real glimpses of our family’s growth.
- Unforgettable Moments: one of the most memorable art creations of my life, celebrating the birth of my son at the age of 48, plus all the stories surrounding this special miracle.
Pressing Reset: What I’m Learning Mothering Solo This Week – Day 2 Reflections
Today’s post is for all the mamas and papas in the thick of it- especially the solo parents or the temporarily solo like me this week. Let’s breathe and remember: we are not alone and that everything serves a purpose.
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✨ ✨ This post is also available as a Podcast on my show, “MC Mama Bird’s Chirps,” and it is accompanied by beautiful sounds from Clavier music. Listen while you drive, fold laundry, or lull your baby to sleep. Made with love!✨ ✨
My partner left for six days, and I knew it would be tough… but I didn’t expect it to rattle me this much. In truth, the days leading to his departure, I just kept getting busy to avoid overthinking and stressing, but also I had to prepare- get the house cleaned, get the fridge stocked, get all the laundry done, have the lawn mowed, and so on, so that when he left my focus would just be entirely on our well-being. That is all great and dandy, but sometimes no matter how much you prepare, things come up and visceral emotions can storm in with no anticipation.
Just two days in, and wow – the tears, the tension, the toddler resistance to small things from hydration to cleaning up after potty training. The nighttime anxiety crept in harder than I expected, even though I live in such a peaceful community! Old traumas and fears can sure creep up on us when we feel vulnerable! The overwhelming list of everything while trying to care for my son, the pup, and myself has felt like climbing a mountain barefoot, with occasional patches of hot lava burning my emotions and pushing my limits, with my least favorite sensation: anger.
I’ve lost my patience. I’ve yelled. I’ve cried. I’ve snapped. I’ve overreacted. I’ve moved and spoken way too quickly to try getting everything done. I was setting myself up for chaos with my fundamental emotions running and my expectations of receiving no or very little collaborations from my toddler.
And that shame spiral gets instigated: “You’re failing. You’re ruining everything. You’re not a good mom…”
But here’s the truth I keep coming back to:
✨ This is Earth School. And it’s not easy.
We’re here to learn. To grow. And often times that can mean revisiting old themes and emotions. At first it feels like, here we are again, but if we really give space, we can notice we have actually changed, even if just by a few inches. These healings take time, lifetimes even. And we don’t always know the true source of their existence- could be trauma from our childhood or even a past life memory.
Sometimes things have to break open so the healing light can get in, so that I can see for reals the manifestation of my predisposition, choices, and the still healing that must be done. Now with the storm I just created, I can choose to change the movie and create a whole new reality from a more informed place that is learning from my mistakes.
I’m making the connection that these low vibration, stressful, real moments aren’t the opposite of love- they are the path back to it. Because every time I mess up, I also get to press reset.
Again. And again. And again towards forgiving myself, loving what is, and being kind as I pick up my pieces again. This is what it means to be human- and to be a parent. If we were looking for eternal peace and beauty, we would have stayed in heaven, but we chose to come down here with our soul posse- not to sit in the back of the room and look pretty, but to roll up our sleeves and do the groundwork with our boots on.
Manoman, parenting is my living and breathing ashram, and this is the hardest endeavor I signed up to in my life because there is just so much at stake, so much love, and such deep growing pains. It is where everything collides like a kaleidoscope- the most precious and special experiences of our lives merging with our biggest fears and lessons.
However, these painful and ecstatic moments are part of our soul agreements we made with our children and each other before we incarnated. We are in a karmic classroom between our deepest loves. They push our buttons because they’re helping us find the spots we still need to heal. And vice-versa. We don’t fully know and understand how this mystery operates, but perhaps someday in heaven, when we are all together up there in our fullness of pure love, we will understand the why’s. I just know that this whole thing that we are experiencing has Divine Order. And that I must trust how every second unfolds even (or especially) when it hurts so much.
And in the healing, we grow closer to each other and to the core of unconditional love, which I think most of us are here to learn and experience. Ohhh- big exhale, learning through your kids can be so ecstatic, but so painful and hard too when we hit these walls because we don’t want to hurt them, we want to be the best to them, yet we are human and make so many mistakes… But the keep takeaway from that is that perhaps through those hard moments we are playing out the karma and creating the opportunity for us all to grow.
So here’s what’s been helping me this week:
- Reaching out to another mama. Just one text can bring a wave of relief. Thank you mama friends!
- Journaling the big feelings and letting them move through. Even just a quick social media post pouring some truth about our reality can really feel good, and you would be surprised at the amount of responses you get with “I’ve been there, and I understand!”
- SLEEP. (Not perfect, but even one good nap can reset the nervous system.)
- Magnesium and my Rescue Remedy- great for kiddos, breastfeeding mamas, and even dogs!
- Nourishing foods – for me and my kiddo. I like grazing throughout the day to keep me going when I can’t just sit down to enjoy my full meal.
- Getting outside and walking or just touching the earth barefoot on our front yard and getting some sunshine – it changed everything.
We even met a beautiful family on our walk who offered to babysit. A small miracle that amazed me that we are always taken care of. Those are my angels at work! - Remembering I am not my emotions, that we are much bigger than that, and that everything has a cosmic place to its unfolding. And that we are not bad people or parents for feeling those dark emotions.
- Notice the little synchronicities and sweet signs that we are not alone- our Spirit family and Angels got our back. For the first time in ages, I found a ladybug as I was taking the trash out after my super hard day.
- Prayer! Prayer! Prayer! I love this super simple easy prayer I learned in my Angels class and that I tweaked to my style:
But the biggest thing? Self-forgiveness and compassion.
Our kids don’t need perfect parents – they chose us for a reason. What we need is realness- that we try again better next time, that we apologize because we don’t have all the answers all the time, that we model grace, not just for them, but for ourselves too. And above all Love is the healing balm and best ingredient to every situation. We are being asked to forgive ourselves and each other as often as needed, while still keeping our beautiful hearts open. The act of forgiveness is purifying and washes us clean so that we can love ourselves with everything and move forward doing better next time.
This week isn’t over. I’m still in it.
But I’m seeing more clearly: this season is stretching me for a reason. And it is something that is actually necessary for our family- we grow, we appreciate each other more, and we practice how to uplift ourselves from our difficulties more quickly, strengthening our angelic wings of forgiveness and compassion. Notice next time- how more swift you have become at surrendering to love and forgiveness after a difficulty.
Parenting is sacred, a blessing, and a gift. It is often chaotic and full of paradoxes. It’s where our fears and our dreams collide – and where love is the only power to transform everything.
If you’re having a hard day, you’re not alone.
Let’s press the reset button. Let’s forgive ourselves. Let’s hold each other in this imperfect, but beautifully transforming work.
With love and from my busy bee hive,
🌸 MC Mama Bird
P.S. If this post resonated, feel free to share it or leave a comment – I’d love to hear your story too. You can also explore past posts like “In Memory of My Beloved Doghter Pixie” where I poured my heart out after the passing of my mom and heart-dog or check out my videos and podcast episodes for more mama-centered support and soul-soothing inspiration.
Leaving you with one of my favorite all time quotes from Pema Chodron with so much love:
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Pressing Reset: 3 More Days Later – What’s Shifted (Day 5 Follow-Up)
A few days after my Day 2 reflections above, I poured my heart out in a Day 5 follow-up. Find it below in the comments: what’s changed, what’s stayed the same, and the small surprises I didn’t see coming. This is my Day 5 reflection and continuation of the same week’s journey in real life.
✨ ✨Listen to this Follow-up as a Podcast on Spotify at our MC Mama Bird’s Chirps show, accompanied by beautiful sounds from Clavier music. Listen while you drive, fold laundry, or lull your baby to sleep. Made with love!✨ ✨
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MC Mama Bird here.
It’s now Day 5- and wow, what a shift in perspective. We’re in such a beautiful rhythm now. But let me tell you: Day 1 and Day 2 were tough. The launch into something so new had me on my tippy-toes feeling anxious and insecure.
The constant, rapid-fire responses needed for baby care- layered on top of nearly three years of exhaustion- made it so difficult to ground myself, to breathe, to meditate. But maybe those raw, hard moments were exactly what I needed. They cracked me open, showed me what still needed healing, and helped me re-center.
When we’re inside the storm- caught in the eye of the hurricane- we rarely know why it’s happening. We’re too close, too deep in it to see clearly. But given time, compassion, and a little space, we begin to see the bigger picture. We heal. We soften. We return with more grace and understanding.
Every hard moment brings up old energy in me- layers that still need composting. Like peeling an onion, the deeper I go within, revealing truths, layer by layer. The emotions themselves aren’t wrong (nor are we wrong or bad for feeling them or having them)- they’re just darn difficult and give rise to shame and guilt. The challenge lies in how we move through them. And this healing practice itself is a teaching mechanism for kids for how to embrace and heal our anger and frustrations without shame or guilt. That is a big one for me!
So here’s my practice: catch myself when I can. Take a pause. A breath. A timeout. And with time, maybe I won’t need to go through the same intense scenarios just to grow. Maybe I’ll recognize them sooner and say:
“Oh, I know this pattern… no thank you, ego. No thank you, rage. I’m choosing differently now.”
Because I have grown. Looking back to two years ago when my son was born, I can see it clearly- and I know there’s still more ahead. This sacred, divine experiment of motherhood is about learning to love ourselves and our children more deeply and honestly each day- with everything, not just the vanilla and strawberry, but the rocky road too.
Our babies see us with all our humanness. And as long as we keep returning with softness, honesty, and a true desire to do better, we all get to grow together. Those two tough days? Manoman, they cracked me open in just the right way for the week to flow. I feel stronger and more confident that I am capable of doing this again.
And even though I wish the learning didn’t have to be so hard sometimes, I know it’s often through struggle and tension that we grow the most. It’s easy to love life and meditate when the sun is shining and our bellies are full. But the real test- the deep healing-comes when life jostles us.
Everything passes. Everything heals. Everything carries us forward like stepping stones or lily pads on the pond.
We’re equipped with radiant healing Chakra power- especially from our loving hearts with its golden light. That light is stronger than any darkness. And we’re never alone. We’re supported by our Spirit Family and Angels who know how hard this path is, and they’re cheering us on. Thank you, mi familia!
We feel deeply because we love deeply. These intense moments are part of the gift. They teach us as we purify ourselves with our practices and rituals. And as we lift ourselves again and shift our frequency again and again, we strengthen our consciousness shifting muscles too, and we help uplift the Earth as well.
We are the wave of conscious evolution- and not from a philosophical perspective, but from the everyday little actions that ruffle us that really matter and are the building blocks to our reality experience in Life.
And when I tune in, I hear my Spirit Family smiling and saying:
“Sweetheart, you’re not going to be on Earth forever. Every day brings you closer to Heaven. So whatever you’re facing- try to savor it. Once you’re back in Heaven, you’ll be fully at peace, but part of you will miss this chaos and raucous beauty of Earth.
Make the best of it. What a blessing to have this baby. What a miracle that any of this even happened. Feel it all. Drink it in. Love every second.”
They laugh. They smile. Something that our Heavenly Family always does: Laugh and Smile.
And I do too.
With love, MC Mama Bird leaving you with Rumi’s poem, The Guest House, which says it all:
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
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